Right Hand Red
by Black Goddess
Summary: Rodney has been informed that morale is low, and feels that Twister is the way to improve things... RodneyJohn slash.


Right Hand Red.

By the Black Goddess

Disclaimer: Sadly, Stargate: Atlantis does not belong to me. I make no money from this, it is a labour of love.

"Seriously, Rodney, Twister?" John asked, looking in horror at the brightly coloured box in Rodney's large hands. Rodney nodded smugly.

"Elizabeth informs me that morale is low, especially among my staff, and I should do more to foster a sense of team spirit. So, we have Twister, we have chocolate bars as rewards and Teyla and Ronon should be here any minute."

"Wait, you actually want I us /I to play it?" John said, hoping that 'Hell, NO!' was clear in his voice, but he lost Rodney's attention somewhere around 'wait' when Rodney started setting up the mat.

"I'm spinner," John said quickly, hoping to salvage some dignity and possibly obtain some blackmail material. Rodney bounced on his toes.

"No need, Colonel, I've written a computer program that generates instructions randomly." Rodney rubbed his hands together and gave John a very smug smile. John groaned inwardly, then rethought this and groaned out loud.

"What is the matter, Colonel?" Teyla asked, entering the room just one step of Ronon. John gestured hopelessly at the mat.

"What's that?" Ronon asked, regarding the mat with clear confusion.

"It's a game. Well, it's a team-and-morale-boosting exercise, but game is quicker," Rodney looked slightly confused for a second, as though debating the wisdom of heading off on another tangent, but he collected himself and continued.

"The computer generates instructions for us to follow, and we follow them. Simple." Rodney beamed at them all, and John failed to resist the temptation to bury his head in his hands.

"Instructions like what?" Ronon asked bluntly. Rodney frowned at him.

"Like, well, right hand red, for example. Then you put your right hand, that's this one," he said, poking Ronon in the right arm, "onto a red circle."

"I know which one right is, McKay." Ronon sounded resigned, rather than angry, and John groaned again, causing Teyla to give him a concerned look. "Where's the challenge?"

"Well, that mat is very small for four grown adults," Rodney pointed out.

"We do this together?" Teyla asked, a hint of surprise in her voice.

"Well, yes, otherwise it's just silly and hardly teambuilding. Or challenging, either." Rodney rubbed his hands together again, and both Teyla and Ronon gave him slightly disbelieving looks. "Well, shall we get started?"

"Do we really have to do this?" John asked pleadingly. "Come on Rodney, we should at least have a drink first – nobody does this sober!"

"Team-building exercise!" chanted Rodney in a sing-song voice. "Come on Colonel, I've disabled the surveillance system and there's a chocolate bar for whoever can keep their balance longest. Which reminds me, I'm on Teyla's side!"

"What?" Ronon said.

"Oh, yes, of course. We have to stand in pairs at opposite ends of the mat, and as we all follow the same instructions there's quite a lot of competition," and Rodney really does look far too pleased about this. John scowled.

"No touching the mat with elbows, knees or any other body part, and you can't put your hand or foot on a circle that someone else has already got theirs on. Clear?"

"I believe so, Rodney," Teyla said, moving to stand at one end of the mat. Ronon shrugged but moved to stand opposite her.

"There really oughta be a referee, Rodney," John said, in a last-ditch attempt to preserve some dignity.

"What's the problem, Colonel? Are you worried you'll fall on your ass, or is it just that you might mess up your hair?" John scowled again, automatically reaching up to check his hair but he managed to stop himself before actually touching it. Rodney smirked, and John glared at him as he moved over to take his place next to Ronon. Rodney darted over to the laptop set up on the table, and pressed a couple of keys before hurrying over to take his place next to Teyla.

"Left hand green," intoned the computer and John heaved a heavy sigh before moving reluctantly to do as it said.

Fifteen minutes later they were all hopelessly entwined and yet somehow still standing.

"I told you it was a mistake to do this sober!" huffed John from his precarious position half under Ronon but with his head under Teyla's left arm. He was exercising a great deal of self-control in not turning his head to look down her top, and he hoped that this was being appreciated.

"Don't be ridiculous, Colonel!" snapped Rodney, from his equally precarious position stretched over Teyla's back. "Someone's bound to fall soon."

"Probably everyone," said Ronon, not sounding at all discomforted despite the fact that he was almost straddling John while being stretched back on himself and twisted around and his whole body was beginning to tremble with the effort.

"I must say that I find this an extremely odd pastime," Teyla observed, rather calmly for a person spread-eagled across the board underneath her three larger and heavier team-mates.

"Right foot blue," said the computer blandly, and John swore at it as he first of all tried to work out which was his right foot and then how to move it to a space that was not only within reach but unoccupied.

"Hey, you're leaning on me!" objected Rodney, turning purple, either with rage or with strain. Hoping it was with rage, John relaxed his arms slightly and rested a little bit more of his weight on Rodney's arm, which wobbled alarmingly before Rodney grunted and pushed it more firmly into place.

"Told you we'd need a referee," John said, giving up the battle not to look down Teyla's top. "Besides, it's your fault for trying to play tactics."

"Well, what did you think I was going to do, Colonel? ("Left hand yellow,") Just let you win?" and when John rested a little bit more weight on him as he struggled to relocate his left hand, Rodney turned his head and licked the side of his neck.

"Jesus, Rodney!" he yelped, as unexpected lightening-bolts shot down his spine. His whole body jerked, and the sudden movement proved too much for him. He yelped again as he felt his balance going and he wound up flat on his back on the mat.

"Hah!" Rodney exclaimed, but John wasn't going out quietly and before he'd even considered what he was doing, he lunged upwards to where Rodney's mouth was balanced above his own and kissed him, hard and dirty, pushing his tongue into Rodney's mouth as the other man parted his lips in shock. John yanked his mouth back and tried to roll out of the way as Rodney began to fall, taking Teyla with him. John had forgotten Ronon and he cannoned into his left leg. Ronon's excellent balance meant nothing when, at the same time as being rolled into by John, he almost received a fist in the eye from a flailing Teyla. He fell with a shout, knocking the wind out of both Teyla and John.

They disentangled themselves somewhat and lay panting on the floor, listening to the computer as it helpful informed them to put their right feet on the green.

"So, who actually won there?" Ronon asked eventually.

"Well, not Sheppard," said Rodney huffily. "He fell first."

"I believe that the sensible thing to do would be to share the chocolate equally." Teyla said firmly, before Rodney could suggest a rematch.

"But…" Rodney began.

"I agree," John said. "It's not even your chocolate – Elizabeth gave it to you for the purpose of team motivation!"

"But you fell first! By rights you shouldn't get any!" Rodney said, but the outrage in his voice was balanced by resignation and John contented himself with thwapping Rodney upside the head as he wriggled completely out from under Ronon and went to get the chocolate.

Later, as Teyla finished her share, she looked thoughtfully at the game.

"I believe this game will prove very popular among my people," she said. "And I believe the amusement value will be much enhanced by alcohol."

"Get Elizabeth to requisition you one," Rodney said. "This one is property of the science department."

"Geez, Rodney, you really wanna get that close to your scientists?" John said. "Would it kill you to share?"

"I'm intending to bet chocolate on the outcome," Rodney said. "And, obviously, I won't disable the surveillance system when I'm not actually playing myself." Ronon smiled a smile full of teeth and got to his feet.

"Coming?" he asked Teyla, who rose gracefully.

"I thank you for introducing me to this game," she said solemnly, though her eyes were dancing. "It has been a most….stimulating evening." Ronon nodded.

"What she said," he agreed, before following her out of the room.

There was a long pause. Rodney refused to meet John's eyes and bustled over to put away the Twister mat. John rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand, where Rodney's tongue had touched it, and watched him thoughtfully for a second.

"So, you disabled the surveillance, right?" he said, walking over to where Rodney was in the process of folding the mat.

"Um, right," Rodney said, cautiously, or as cautiously as he could while wrestling the large mat into a shape small enough to fit back into the box. John took the mat out of his hands, and dropped it on the floor.

"Hey!" Rodney exclaimed, and John was sure he was going to say more but he never found out what it was because when he leaned in to kiss Rodney, Rodney leaned in and met him halfway. The kiss was perfect, hot and wet, tongues sliding against each other. Someone moaned, John thought it might be him but he wasn't sure because he was too busy fumbling with Rodney's belt, feeling Rodney's hands fumbling with his own, neither of them wanting to break the kiss. In the end, John pulled back just enough to see what he was doing…and fell backwards over the Twister mat with a yell, automatically grabbing at Rodney and dragging the other man with him. Rodney had the presence of mind to keep most of his weight off John, hands landing either side of John's waist, and instead of complaining as John was sure he was going to, Rodney just dived straight back in to the kissing, rubbing himself against the length of John's body. John gave up on their clothes and slid his hands round to Rodney's ass, squeezing it in both hands and pulling it towards him as he tilted his hips up. Rodney gave a gasp, beginning to grind even more fiercely against him. John came with a shout, and that set Rodney off as well.

This time, as they lay panting on the screwed-up Twister mat, Rodney wasn't the only one who was smiling.

"So, Twister, a good idea then." Rodney said, and it was a statement, not a question.

"You know, you can play strip Twister," John said.

"Oh really?" Rodney said, propping himself up on one elbow to look John in the face.

"So I've heard," John said.

"We might to play again sometime," Rodney said.

"We could have a rematch," John agreed. "How about later, in my quarters? Of course," he sighed, sounding regretful. "There isn't room for the mat…"

"Hell, genius here!" Rodney said, his face one big grin. "We'll just have to improvise."

"Yes, we will," said John, and reached up to kiss him.

End


End file.
